By Matthew T. Saxey Researchers and therapists have found that when there is a “problem” in a couple relationship, the “problem” can actually not be the problem itself—the problem can be a symptom of the actual problem.[1] For example, if you find yourself losing your temper particularly easily with your partner, losing your temper might…
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What Do Attachment Styles Look Like in a Marriage? Integrating John Legend and Attachment Theory
By Matthew T. Saxey In one of his poignant, heartfelt love songs released in 2020, “Conversations in the Dark,” John Roger Stevens—known as ‘John Legend’—declares to what one can only assume is his wife, Chrissy: “My love is everywhere you are.”[1] Is Legend’s statement wishful thinking or might his love—in a way—truly be everywhere…
The Name Game, Not the Blame Game: Tips for Working Through Conflict
By Lizzy Wood HoChing “You always leave your socks on the floor!” “Well you always leave your hair everywhere!” “You don’t even care about me!” “You’re so selfish!” These are just a few general examples of things couples might say in the midst of an argument. Besides the fact that these phrases are full…
Dealing With Panic in a New Relationship
A new relationship can be intense and unpredictable and can trigger stress and anxiety for many reasons. This relationship anxiety may be more common for people with anxiety or who have been hurt in the past. We look at some tips to overcome these fears in new relationships. Starting a new relationship can be…
Seeing People Deeply: How to Be More Present in Your Relationships
By Lyndi Jenkins Human beings are profoundly social creatures, driven by fundamental needs for connection, acceptance, and belonging. When such needs are not met, people suffer both physically[1] and emotionally.[2] This is especially true in marriage and other core relationships where the pitfalls of disconnection are particularly jarring. In a recent address to university…
Avoiding Revenge in Marriage: Why “A Taste of Your Own Medicine” Doesn’t Work
By Hailey Shoemaker “An eye for an eye will leave the whole world blind.” — Gandhi Though a “taste of your own medicine” is something we don’t like to receive, it is also something we may feel a bit entitled to give. Let’s investigate why this may be the case by looking at…
Tips for Couples Navigating a Challenging Time
When you’ve found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, it only makes sense that you desire to grow closer with that special someone. As much love and compassion as you have for this person, unexpected situations are inevitable and as a couple, you will have to navigate some difficult…
How Healthy and Good Relations Impact Your Lifestyle Positively?
Getting into a relationship is fairly easy, but to be there with each other through thick and thin is what puts your love, trust, efforts, loyalty, and commitment to test. Humans have a natural instinct and desire to build relationships with other people and this is what compels us to love someone with the purity…
Dealing with Infidelity in a Relationship
Married people cheat. This is an unavoidable fact. Upward of 40% of married couples are impacted by infidelity in marriage or a relationship. And most people, even those who cheated, will admit that cheating is wrong. Myriad factors contribute to the cause of infidelity, ranging from mental disorders to the prevalence of social media and…
Dealing with Anxiety in a Relationship
Thousands of individuals across the world suffer from severe anxiety. In many cases, it is manageable and may not be totally obvious. But many couples may find that having anxiety in a relationship can create significant strain. Whether it is simple dating anxiety, social anxiety, or general anxiety with life, this can create tension with…