Why Your Sex Life Sucks [3 Ways to Improve It]

Most of you reading this post probably have regular and satisfying sex with one committed partner or multiple casual partners.

But even if you feel like your sex life is vibrant and fulfilling, it might be missing something vital.

You see, even the most sensual of couples or person who regularly finds attractive and willing sexual partners can fall prey to one of life’s cruel sexual realities…you will get old and your sex life will gradual diminish.

Research suggests that for the average person or couple, sexual frequency and satisfaction will slowly decrease over time.

Married couples who once enjoyed an exciting and fulfilling sex life together often find themselves with a relentlessly tiring child and in a sexual wasteland.

Those living the single life may find that the once plentiful arena of potential partners slowly begins to dry up, or perhaps worse, that they begin to become bored and dissatisfied with the constant carousel of rotating sexual partners.

You might already have found yourself feeling that your sex life is dissipating.

So what gives?

Is it simply inevitable that we will all fall into a sexual black hole later on in our lives?

I offer two important thoughts on this matter.

First, yes, for many of you the future of your sex life is bleak.

Sex and everything associated with it will become a chore or at best, and will become something akin to regularly watching a movie at home from Redbox.

Most of the time completely forgettable, sometimes just plain bad, and every once in a blue moon you might be reminded why you liked movies in the first place.

But I also offer hope..

This future of sexual desolation can be avoided by doing a few simple things.

You see, most of us think about sex in a way that sets ourselves up for this future or current failure.

Here are three ways you can change your thinking to avoid a sex life that sucks and find one that’s fulfilling for years and decades to come.

1. Your Sex Life is About Your Sexual Experience

Most of our problems with sex come down to this one simple fact, we focus way too much on the actual intercourse part of the process.

We obsess over the best positions, how long we or our partner can last, or how often intercourse happens.

What’s the problem with this type of focus?

Our bodies aren’t made to just focus on intercourse and have that be the end of sexual expression.

Once we get past our peak fertility period, our reproductive biology starts shutting down. This can lead to frustration and decreased sexual frequency.

Instead, focus on the experience of being sexual with your partner, regardless of what behaviors that may involve.

Kissing, touching, and all manner of intimate behaviors can draw us closer to our partners and the more ways we have to be intimate, the less likely we are to be frustrated if we aren’t having sexual intercourse five to seven times a week like we were when we started dating.

2. Your Sex Life is Directly Tied to Your Emotions, it is Not Just a Physical Connection

To take this a step a little further, we’re overly obsessed in our culture with the physical aspects of sex.

Sex is certainly a behavior but it’s also a relational and emotional act. It means something (or at least can and should mean something) to us and our partner.

Make sex about connecting to your partner on an emotional level.

Instead of thinking just about the physical sensations you’re experiencing during sex, think about your love, commitment, and desire for your partner.

Trust me, it will make a world of difference.

3. Are Orgasms Important? [Yes, and Sexual Intimacy is TOO!]

Achieving an orgasm is great, however, in long-lasting relationships sexual intimacy is important, also.

We tend to worship on the altar of the orgasm in this world.

Good sex = mutual orgasm, right?

Sure…sometimes.

But that’s not all sex is or can be.

If it is..

Most couples are in trouble because it’s simply not going to happen all the time, especially for the women.

Some women are able to easily achieve an orgasm in sexual encounters but other women find it more difficult.

Does that mean the sex is bad?

Only if you think it’s only about the orgasm.

Instead, make sex about the intimacy and connection.

Enjoy the foreplay and snuggle with each other afterward (this is where the real bonding occurs).

Make sex a positive and commitment based experience that is enjoyable regardless of the orgasm that did to did not happen!

Now, Go Analyze Your Sex Life

So all in all, simply changing the way we think about sex can be the difference between a sex life that may become increasingly disappointing and one that can actually become more satisfying and fulfilling well into your old age.

Written by: Brian