Have you ever complained that no one is interested in dating you because you aren’t attractive? Do you ever doubt that a first date will lead to a second? Fortunately, a team of scholars from Brigham Young University found that most relationships are not based solely on looks. Though looking attractive certainly does not hurt your chances, it may be more important to feel confident in yourself than how you compare to others. Read on to find out why this may be.
Frequency of Dating
Feeling secure about who you are and how you look may be just as important in how often you go on dates as actually being the most attractive person. If you are happy with who you are and feel like you deserve to date, this may draw people to you no matter how you look.
First Dates
Physically attractive people tend to go on more first dates than anyone else, but that doesn’t mean they have more second dates or have more relationships. In fact, if someone depends too much on their looks they may actually start to feel like people only want to date them because of their looks and nothing else. If so, they may actually start to feel less secure about other people, which does not help them get second dates.
Second Dates
Once you do get that first date, chances of a second date will be higher if you act confident and respond to your date. People like other people who care about themselves and are willing to trust others. So if you are so caught up in not looking good enough to get a second date you may not, but it won’t be because you don’t look good, just that you don’t think you look good.
Relationships
Don’t stop being responsive to your partner and don’t lose confidence in yourself after the second date. Keep going and your chances of beginning a new relationship are in your favor. Attractiveness often becomes less important as relationships move forward but that doesn’t mean you should stop caring. Most importantly, do not let physical imperfections undermine your security in the relationship. Have confidence that your partner loves you and wants to develop a relationship with you for who you are, not what you look like. So what does this mean for you? Looks may be important, but is it more important how you think you look than what others think? Be confident in who you are, show you care, and stop worrying about everyone else’s judgements. Remember that looks aren’t everything. To read more about how you feel about how confidence, or a lack of confidence, can affect relationships later on try these blog posts:
To find out more about how you feel about yourself and others, try taking our READY assessment here.
Read the original article here: http://spr.sagepub.com/content/30/3/301
