Do you find dating difficult? Do you wonder what the end goal is (or should be)? A team of researchers lead by Melanie Zimmer in Australia recently defined the three main types of daters in the world. Which one are you? And what does it mean for your relationships?
These daters really value having the space to discover their own identity without feeling the need to commit to a relationship. They crave the sense of autonomy that comes with non-committal relationships.
Intimacy seekers hope their dating will lead to committed and exclusive romantic relationships. They love taking care of their partners and feeling love in return. They would describe their ideal partner as their “best friend”.
These daters like to feel on top of the social world. They gravitate towards partners who can provide them with things like social capital and a wealthy lifestyle.
So what does this mean for you?
Pros-Dating can be really liberating and fun for you. You get to learn about yourself as well as what you look for in others.
Cons-Your partner might feel unfulfilled if you’re more focused on yourself than them. You might miss out on a chance for a great connection and romantic relationship because you’re more focused on your independence.
Pros-This could lead to really strong friendships, which is a great foundation for romantic relationships. You’re clear on where you want the relationship to go. Your partner and you probably both feel very loved.
Cons-You might smother your partner or scare away potential partners who aren’t ready for such intense commitment. Rejection could feel overwhelming to you.
Pros-Dating could provide a self-esteem boost (temporarily). You may gain some social capital that could allow you to break into social circles you otherwise couldn’t have.
Cons-People may see you as shallow. You might be missing real connection and depth that intimate relationships could provide you with. Your self-esteem may be dependent on things out of your control (like your romantic partner).
If you identify with one of these types and don’t like what it means for your relationships, don’t worry, the types can change according to your life goals. The first step is understanding your personal goals for dating. Take our READY Assessment to assist you with this process.
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Written by: Dallin