If you have found the man or woman of dreams and you have decided to tie the knot, you may be asking yourself the following questions.
— When should we set the date?
— What venue(s) are we going to try to book?
— What will our wedding colors be?
— How many guests should we invite?
These are all important questions that need to be decided together as a couple, but the more important question you should be asking is, when should we start premarital counseling? Luckily there is a simple answer to this question; as soon as possible. In fact, it would be in your best interest to start premarital counseling before trying to decide on the answers to previous questions. The reason being that early premarital counseling improves communication between partners. Good communication is key to a healthy relationship, so developing a good line of communication through premarital counseling as soon as possible will give you a good foundation to build your marriage on.
Along with building a healthy line of communication, premarital counseling will help develop a plan for a long and healthy marriage. A good premarital counselor will help couples set goals in several areas that can often be the demise of a healthy marriage. Some of these areas include financial planning, expected number of children, and physical goals. Setting goals, and a plan on how to achieve these goals, before tying the knot will help avoid bumps down the road.
To this point you might be thinking that setting goals for the future and practicing healthy communication is something you can accomplish without the help of a counselor, and you may be right. However, the benefit of getting advice from a counselor with successful marriage experience cannot be achieved on your own. It is always wise to seek out the wisdom of those that have been successful in their previous endeavors, and marriage is no exception. The more time one spends with a mentor of any aspect, the more information and advice can be absorbed from said mentor. That is why starting marriage counseling as soon as possible is more of a benefit than a hindrance.
Another thought to be considered when deciding when to start premarital counseling is, what don’t you know about your partner. You may be thinking that you know everything there is to know about your partner, but that is most likely not the case. Enlisting the help of a counselor can help mediate the difficult conversations before it is too late. This may include expectations about certain things that are not normally discussed, or something in your partner’s past that he or she does not like to talk about. A counselor can help ease the tension and get things out in the open that need to be talked about in order for a relationship to remain strong.
And finally, it is important to realize that getting prepared for marriage is a reason to set up premarital counseling, but building a healthy, loving, strong, and open marriage should be the goal of attending premarital counseling. Building that foundation is only something that can be accomplished between you and your partner, but enlisting the help of a premarital counselor early on will help you get there faster.
Looking for more helpful resources for marriage preparation? Checkout our blog post 11 Best Premarital Counseling Books to Read Before Tying the Knot.
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